The Pain the Seems to Stay
It’s not a question of love.
It is a statement of pain
I believe that you love me
But suicide is in vain
I know in your head
Your thoughts wax and wain
But don’t throw all we have.
Down the drain
You may think it’s your only way out
You may think life’s too much to bear
But what you are missing
Is how much I love you
And how much I care
I know you can’t carry the burdens alone
I know the wait is too heavy to lift
But please reach out
For all of us
Before your thoughts drift
Suicide is the finality
The end of it all
Give us a chance
It may not be easy
But if you hold on
Eventually you will see
The enemy is only trying
To get victory
I wish
Instead
Of the visions in your head
That you see us crying
And you see us grabbing
To hold on to you
Maybe that will override your defeat
Of what you believe is true
I wish
What you see in your head is me
Struggling to go on without you
It is not to place guilt
But for you to see the whole picture
Of what choices can do
This is what my life would be like
Without you
So hold on, I pray
Make a call
And don’t end at all
Please think of me
Even though
I know
You can handle your pain
I want you to envision
Mine
The happy times
The sad times
The many more times that can be
Hold on hold on hold on
For me
If not for me
Then for you
Hold on
To what I believe is true
You are loved
You are accepted
You are adopted by grace
If you can’t
Call my name
Call the name of Jesus
He will meet you where you are
He can erase every scar
What do you have to lose
The choice is yours in the end
But I pray
I pray today
Hold on
Hold on for hope
Hold on today
Praise God you made it one in a row
And then two and on and on you go
Choices don’t always come easy
You may be one day short of a miracle
Or you may send someone on a journey
They had no intention of taking
Both are true
But most of all
Hold on for you
I believe in you
I believe God heals
I believe
I have faith for two
Could this be the day?
Are you one day short of a miracle?
You will never know
If you let go
If not today
Then maybe tomorrow
You will see your victory
Hold on
Pick up the phone
Call a friend
Do not let this be the end
In your desperation, I know
You may not see
Victory
I have seen both sides
My heart was broken in two
What was left behind was blame
I do not wish to blame you
Have you considered instead
I blame myself
As I rationalize my pain
The Would’ve, Could’ve Should’ve
Races in my mind
What if
What if I could have stopped you
What if I could have done more
What if I had been there
What if? What if? What if?
Rob me of joy
It’s not a question of love
It is a statement of pain
I believe that you love me
But suicide is in vain
As I date, my heartbeat
I think about the sixteen days away
April 12, 1997
And wonder
Was he one day short of a miracle?
©Uniquely His
Nancy Seman
March 27, 2023